Confirmation Bias vs. God’s Confirmation
We’ve all been guilty of it — praying for a sign, asking God to lead us in whatever decision we’re trying to make, and then thinking the first thing that resembles a “yes” is a confirmation from God. But truthfully, what we see as confirmation is sometimes just what we want God to be saying.
I used to think that if I prayed and then heard a song lyric or saw an IG quote that lined up with what I wanted, that meant God was giving me a green light. But really, I was only looking for any sign of agreement with my desires and not God’s will. This is called confirmation bias.
What’s confirmation bias? Good question. It’s when we interpret things in a way that aligns with what we already believe or want to be true. Sometimes, it happens unintentionally, because it’s a natural human tendency. We want something so badly that we start looking for the signs that agree with us and dismiss the ones that don’t. And it’s not that God can’t speak through the small things because He can. We just have to be careful not to force His voice into our expectations.
I was in a long-term relationship with someone I truly thought I was going to be with forever. We went through many ups and downs — breakups and makeups, constant tension, silent treatments, and trying to hold things together with hope and faithless prayers. I told myself we were soulmates and believed that for a long time. I had conjured up this belief that “the Universe” wanted us to be together because of all we had been through. I fought hard for that story to be true.
Looking back with spiritual clarity, I saw so many moments where God was trying to pull me out of that relationship. I saw the red flags I ignored. The inner unrest I silenced. The times I would pray for peace but keep choosing confusion and chaos. The more I clung to my own plans, the more the relationship fell apart and the more I fell with it. Toward the end, I felt like I didn’t know the person I had chosen to be with and that they didn’t know me. I was met with the kind of disrespect most people wouldn’t ignore but my familiarity and attachment issues still wouldn’t allow me to let go. Ultimately, the relationship became too toxic and unhealthy and we cut things off.
I don’t live in regret, but I do wish I had more spiritual awareness to recognize God’s gentle nudges and less to my own desperate prayer for things to work out. I know that what I went through wasn’t God punishing me. It was simply the result of the choices I made with the free will He gave me.
It’s a beautiful yet humbling experience when you come to realize how God’s presence has been with you throughout your entire life.
There’s a line from Chandler Moore’s song What I Needed (the song playing at the top) that hits this so perfectly:
“Protection don’t feel good in the moment
But looking back, wasn’t trying to be disrespectful
You know I’m stubborn, I never would’ve let go
But trust is hard for the broken heart
But with You, I finally learned”
And that’s it. That’s the tension. We want God’s best, but we don’t always trust Him when His best doesn’t match our desires. We mistake his “no” for rejection, when it’s really protection. Think about that.
God isn’t the author of confusion. He confirms with peace. His voice isn’t rushed, pushy, or desperate. It’s steady, honest, and rooted in truth. When something is truly from Him, you won’t have to fight for it to choose you. You won’t have to question your own worth to get it. You won’t have to endure great pain to keep it. And you definitely won’t need to manipulate sings or twist scripture to justify having it.
God’s confirmation can look like:
Peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7)
Wise counsel that aligns with scripture
Doors that open with clarity and not confusion
Repeated confirmation in prayer, Word, and timing — not just in coincidence
It’s so easy to turn every coincidence into a message from our good and gracious Father, especially when we’re afraid of the alternative. But I am learning that when we truly surrender to God, we don’t need signs to prove it. We won’t have to ask for it to rain today or for a bird to land on our windowsill for us to get our way. We have to trust the silence. Wait for peace. And sometimes, accept the doors that have closed.
Ask yourself:
- Does this choice bring me peace or pressure?
- Do I want this because God confirmed it, or because I’m afraid to let go?
- Am I forcing a yes because I don’t want to the face the no?
Also remember this: God never said it wouldn’t be hard. We all know that anything worth having takes work, faith and spiritual maturity included. But God doesn’t confirm something with chaos. His ‘yes’ may stretch you, but it won’t confuse you. It may challenge you, but it won’t torment you. His peace will still be present — even in the process.
Sometimes the most loving thing God can say is no. And sometimes the faithful thing we can do is walk away.
🕊️ A Simple Prayer
God, help me not to chase after signs, but to seek Your voice. Silence my emotions, strip away my bias, and reveal Your truth. Teach me to recognize Your peace, and give me the patience to wait for You to confirm what’s meant for me. I only want what comes from You.
Amen.
💡 Call to Reflect
Have you ever mistaken your hope for God’s confirmation? Are you rushing to label something as “His will” when it’s really just what you want?
Take a moment today and ask yourself:
“If God said no—would I still trust Him?”
If this spoke to you, share it with someone you love, comment your thoughts below, or tag @riseandrenewblog in a post on IG. Your story might be the sign someone else actually needs.
