The Battle Between Trust and Control
Hi, my name is Jurnee. I’m 30 years young and I have control issues.
There, I said it. If there was a support group for people addicted to “trying to plan life”, I’d have a seat on the board for sure. I like knowing what’s next. I like when I can scratch items off my list. I like to prepare myself for outcomes so I don’t get blindsided. But life has this way of reminding me, over and over again, that control is an illusion.
Plans change, people disappoint. Unexpected things happen. And some days I’m left staring at a wall, trying to play God in my own head.
That’s when the gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) reminder comes: “You’re not God. Stop trying to be.”
Ouch.
Here’s the kicker: I can micromanage my schedule, my relationships, even my feelings—but at the end of the day, I don’t have the final say. God does. And if I’m honest, that both terrifies me and comforts me.
It terrifies me because to “let go and let God” means to loosen my grip on the reins and hand them over to the One who knows where I’m supposed to be going. It means saying “Okay God, I trust You more than I trust my own plans.” But it comforts me because His sovereignty means I don’t have to hold everything together because He already does.
And let me tell you, some days I win that battle. I breathe, I surrender, I rest in His hands. Other days? I’m passenger seat driving the Creator of the universe like He doesn’t know where He’s going or He’s going to slow. (Huge spoiler: He always knows where He’s going and He’s on time, every time.)
But here’s something I’m learning — God’s sovereignty isn’t about making me feel small. It’s about reminding me that I’m safe. That I’m exactly where he wants me to be. That when I finally unclench my fists and hand Him the reins, I don’t lose. I actually gain peace.
So yeah, my name is Jurnee. I’m 30 years young. I have control issues. But every day, God is teaching me how to trade control for trust. And little by little, I’m learning to like the freedom that comes with it.
Prayer 🙏🏽
Father God, I admit that I struggle with control. I hold onto things You never asked me to carry, and I try to fix situations that only You can handle. Today, I choose to trust You. Help me to release my grip and rest in Your sovereignty. Remind me that Your plans are better than mine, and that I am safe in Your hands. Teach me to trade my anxiety for peace, my fear for faith, and my control for trust.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
✨ Let’s Talk About It
What’s one area of your life where God is asking you to loosen your grip and trust Him more?
Drop it in the comments or share this post with a friend or family member who also struggles with control. Let’s remind each other that surrender doesn’t equal weakness—it equals freedom.
